This is the WWE?
by heidipoo
Summary: Honestly, this is just crack. Read for a good laugh I guess. Random drabbles to help rid writer's block. Some serious, mostly funny. Written with AngelZ of DarKness, Broski Love, RonRon100, and WhiteAsukalover.
1. Raw 1000 Parody

A/N: The Raw 1000 commercial is genius so AngelZ of DarKness and I decided to write a parody. If it made you laugh, our mission is complete. Enjoy and review!

"Yeah... Hold on." Vince said as he noticed John Cena walking by. "John! John! Hey tell all the boys that next week, Raw starts at eight." Vince said and went back to his phone call. John took out his earbuds looking confused, but just shrugged then walked away.

Dolph Ziggler: We have to wear a cape?

Kelly Kelly: I got a date!

Chris Jericho: Who says I'm gonna get raped?

Eve: I am so not fake!

Big Show: Can I make pancakes?

Rey Mysterio: I don't like pancakes.

CM Punk: AJ's marrying Goat Face?

Daniel Bryan:Yes! Yes! Yes! We're going to consimate.

AJ: It was all fate!

Kane: Too bad I'm late.

CM Punk: AJ's my soulmate!

Kelly Kelly: Wait, who's Nate?

Heath Slater: One man band bab- What the hell? Wade Barrett's my mate?

Sheamus: I'm bringing the wedding cake.

CM Punk: No wait!

Triple H: DX can't celebrate?

Shawn Michaels: No way! Bring out the sake!

Layla: I have to buy a plate?

CM Punk: Sheamus! We all know your accent is fake.

R-Truth: Come on Little Jimmy, who we gonna take?

Sheamus: Punkers, I'll put you in the oven with the dessert and let your arse bake!

Alberto Del Rio: Sheamus wants to Brogue Kick me in the face?

Ricardo: Run before it's too late!

Vickie Guerrero: The new GM is an ape?

John Cena: Vince is gonna kill me! I told everyone the wrong date!


	2. Dance Like You: Layla and AJ

**Author's Note: Another oneshot for you guys! Might be a little weird. Please review and enjoy!**

Layla irritably trudged to the locker room after checking out the match card for the night. "Another show, another night I'm not even on the card!" She growled angrily. She turned to head into the Diva's locker room, running into none other than AJ Lee. AJ noticed Layla's rugged demeanor.

"No matches?" AJ asked and the British diva nodded. "Don't worry Lay, you're not alone." AJ replied, after all she hadn't had a match or a promo since her storyline with CM Punk had died down.

"Come on AJ, your the Raw GM, plus you still can chase Punk whenever you want." Layla scoffed. AJ knitted her eyebrows together in shock.

"Well... Since I'm the GM, that means I'm your boss, and you might want to watch your tone while you're talking to your boss." AJ replied smirking after putting emphasis on her final word. "Wouldn't want any problems, would we Lay?"

"You wouldn't do anything to me."

"Try me." AJ sneered then cocked her head to the side, giving Layla her signature Crazy Chick smile.

"You're crazier than Mickie James ever was." Layla smirked, amused. AJ gaze softened, and tears began to form in her chocolate orbs. Layla stood dumbfounded, taken aback by AJ's sudden reaction.

"What the..."

"I'm sorry Lay! I didn't want to be mean to you... I just have a lot going on now, P-Punk won't even talk to me because of the match I made at Summer Slam. I just..." AJ replied, voice wavering before finally letting her tears fall.

"Shh... It's okay... Bring it in." Layla smiled, hugging her close. AJ continued to sob, letting Layla comfort her. She couldn't help but to think of how soft Layla's skin was, and how sweet she smelled.

"It's okay, everything's gonna be fine..." AJ pulled away from Layla's hug and looked up at the taller diva in wonder. Layla smiled and brushed the tears from AJ's cheek.

"You're right, I should be fine Lay. Thanks." AJ sniffled.

"Sure thing." Layla then turned on her heal and started to walk away.

"Wait!" AJ said grabbing the other diva's wrist. Layla turned to face AJ again, a questioning look on her pretty face. AJ bit her lip nervously. "D-Do you, maybe want to do something after the show? With me?" The petite diva asked shyly.

"Sure...why not?"

"Okay! See you soon!" AJ grinned, then turned to skip down the empty hallway. Layla chuckled, watching her skip away.

To AJ, the rest of the show went extremely slow. She just wanted for it to be over already. She just wanted to go and have fun with Layla; to get a certain straight edge man off her mind. Layla was watching the show backstage with a smile. After endless hours it seemed, AJ gathered up all her things and went to find Layla. Layla was in her locker room waiting for her. Skipping down the hall humming some poppy tune, AJ finally made it to the locker room.

"All ready?" She asked Layla with much enthusiasm.

"Yeah I'm good to go."

"So what's the plan?" AJ asked excitedly as she took Layla's hand and the two divas walked to the parking garage.

"Well I figured we'd hit the club."

"A club?" AJ asked nervously.

"Yeah you know, we dance, have a little beer or wine, that kind of thing."

"Oh okay. I've just never been. Not really my thing, you know? But if it's with you then this should be a fun first time experience." AJ replied giving Layla a genuine smile.

"Alright, well let's go girl." The two divas finally found Layla's rental and drove to the nearest night club.

"I'm glad we can spend this time together AJ." AJ looked over at Layla, who was driving. The British diva had the sweetest smile on her face.

"Me too Lay." AJ replied. Layla smiled cutely at her.

"Glad to hear it." The girls drove for about another ten minutes before finding a decent club. Layla parked her rental, and she and AJ headed inside.

"How you feeling AJ?" Lay asked.

"I'm... Okay?" AJ answered, unable to think of a better response. The petite diva looked around quickly as she and Layla manuvered their way through the club. To AJ, it was a bit overwhelming with the crowds of people, loud music, and the blinding flashing lights.

"You alright girl?" Layla asked warmly.

"Did I mention I'm a tiny bit claustrophobic?" AJ laughed awkwardly.

"Now she tells me." Layla laughed.

"I should be fine. Let's just go have fun." AJ replied.

"All right." Layla smiled. AJ grinned and grabbed Layla's hand again, and the two divas made their way out to the dance floor. Layla smirked, surprising AJ with her dancing skills. AJ moved her body subtly to the loud bass of the music. She wasn't the best dancer; she was really just admiring Layla's moves. Her chocolate eyes traveled down Lay's body, studying every curve to her graceful frame, and the way her body moved so smoothly with the music.

"Surprised I can dance so well?" Layla teased.

"Uh... Y-yeah." AJ replied, caught off guard. Her cheeks flushed a tint of pink because she got caught staring.

"It's okay if you wanna stare." She giggled. AJ looked up and met Layla's brown orbs.

"Could you teach me how to dance like you?" The petite girl asked abruptly.

"I'd be happy to." She smiled.

"Okay." AJ said grinning. The two girls began to dance together smoothly. They were having a great time until Layla surprised AJ by bending down and shyly kissing her cheek. AJ gasped at the feeling of Lay's warm lips on her cheek. Layla pulled away smiling. AJ was confused with the British diva's actions but decided to go with it. AJ looked into Lay's eyes, searching for a stop sign, but found none. Grabbing Lay's hands, she stepped up on her tip toes and pressed her glossy lips to the taller diva's, delivering a sweet kiss. Layla smiled into the kiss, gladly returning it. AJ's eyes widened in shock that Layla was kissing her back, but then closed as she got lost in the feel of Layla's lips against her own.

"Like it?" Layla cooed. AJ nodded smiling shyly, for she was at a loss for words.

"Want another?"

"Please?" AJ asked. Layla giggled, happily obliging. AJ decided to be bold, and ran her tongue along Layla's bottom lip tasting her strawberry lip gloss. Layla blushed a little. They seperated from eachother, both girls a little out of breath.

"I like you AJ, a lot." Layla said, cheeks burning.

"I like you too Lay." AJ replied. Lay's orbs instantly lit up. The tiny girl AJ quickly looked up to see Layla smiling down at her sweetly.

"Really?" Layla asked incredulously.

"Uh huh." AJ murmured shyly as Layla pulled her in for another kiss.


	3. Something New: Rosa and Alberto

**Author's Note: Written with RonRon10.**

* * *

"Rosa, I can't help the level of attraction I have for you. Es muy loco." He explained. "I don't want to pressure you or anything, but I guess I'm just not used to waiting for such a long time." He finished. The severe waiting game hadn't really been an opponent with Melina, but things were different now. "I'm nothing like Primo." Alberto added as Rosa looked on. "It'll be different." Rosa looked very hesitant. She really didn't know whether to oblige his request or not... Alberto crossed his hand over his chest. "I promise."

"Show me." Rosa said sincerely.

"Surely." Alberto tilted Rosa's chin up and kissed her under her chin and her neck slowly, letting her relish at his slow touch. Rosa sighed in bliss immediately at the first touch. Alberto was right. He was nothing like Primo. If anything, they were complete opposites. His lips felt like fire on her skin, and it made her blood boil.

"Show me more..." She whispered.

"My pleasure." He pulled her over to his seat and sat her down on his lap, lips slowly colliding with hers to immerse Rosa into the heat of the moment even more. Alberto slowly slid down both of her shirt straps and went for the bra straps as well. The Latina only buried her head in the crook of his neck, inhaling his masculine scent while placing sweet butterfly kisses on his skin. He tasted sweeter than ever, and he was so warm. She was enjoying his touch, while she started to touch him too. Alberto decided to try something a little unexpected. After cradling her head in his hands, he bucked forward. Rosa let out a quick gasp as she felt the Mexican Aristocrat's arousal brush against her. Instantly, the fire inside her was ignited. Alberto watched as Rosa's eyes turned a darker shade of brown and a smile crept up on her face.

"You have no idea what you just did." She said, with a mischievous grin. Alberto smiled up at her.

"But si my sweet Rosa, I do." He said as he pulled her in for another kiss. She was more into it than before, he could tell by the way her tongue moved against his forcefully. It was like her tongue was waging war against his, and she was actually dominating. He could feel Rosa's warmth seeping out and down her legs as she positioned her center at the ready in front of his arousal.

"Alberto..." She started once she pulled away for a breath of air. "I need you." He quickly nodded in agreement.

"And I need you as well Rosa." The Latina then sent him a shy smile as she began to pull his shirt over his head, admiring his body in the process. Alberto responded by doing the same for Rosa, taking in the welcome sight of her perky breasts held in by her bra. Rosa then let out a laugh.

"How the hell are we gonna do this in a car?" Alberto laughed along with her.

"Well, we had to do it rough since I had a rough upbringing." He said, rubbing his chin. "Guess you could say I'm used to it. Who knows, maybe you like it rough Rosa?" Rosa let out another laugh.

"Maybe..." She trailed off as she let her fingers travel down Alberto's abdomen and pulled him in for another kiss. He felt her deepen the kiss even more as he started to unhook the back of her bra straps. Once the bra was off, Rosa tilted her head back as she felt Alberto touch her and kiss her breasts. Without meaning to, she let out a soft moan. Alberto then used his tongue to slide one of her nipples around in circles, sucking on it before going to do the same for the other one as well. By now, she was full of lust, and she couldn't wait any longer. She needed to have him now. She reached straight for his belt buckle and threw the belt out of the car with quick haste. Alberto merely chuckled at her quickness.

"Eager are we?" He teased. Rosa didn't even give him a reply. She unzipped his pants as she began to struggle trying to pull his pants off. Finally, after an eternity it seemed, the two were finally exposed to each other. "I have to say Rosa, this work of art should be in a museum." He grinned, scoping her body.

"I'd have to say the same for you, Mr. Del Rio..." She replied with a smile. Alberto pressed forward into Rosa's entrance, her teeth clenching tight trying not to make any noises. The effort was to no avail, as she let out a shriek that literally cracked and broke several windows on the buildings near them. Alberto looked around at the collateral damage caused by Rosa's shrieks of dear enjoyment.

"Wow... Uh Rosa, put your clothes back on. I think that's enough for one night." He said with a nervous chuckle.

"Why?" Rosa asked, they hadn't even got to finish. Alberto shrugged hesitantly.

"I'm not exactly sure." He said scratching Rosa's hair.

"Did I do something wrong?" She asked fearfully. After all, Primo's the only guy she had ever slept with, and that usually only lasted about four minutes.

"No, it's not that. I just... I've never had extended sex with someone before. Melina used to always be so fast and quick about it, I've never got to enjoy myself." He scratched his head, looking to the side. Alberto couldn't believe how ridiculous he was sounding right now. Rosa let out a laugh.

"Well Primo wasn't exactly the slow type either..." Alberto laughed.

"The green light was always in their eyes. No such thing as stopping huh?"

"Si." Rosa nodded as she laughed again. "But with you, it's different." She said in all seriousness. Alberto noted her tone of seriousness, understanding.

"Yeah but, I barely know what I am doing." He said with a humorless laugh. "Here I am, now truly on the run from the state of Florida, and everybody wants my head. Plus, I have a beautiful lady, but I don't know how to please her."

"That's what you're worried about?" Rosa asked as she stared into his eyes. "Alberto you've done so much for me already, and you're worried that you can't please me?" Alberto nodded quickly.

"Si. I have a few... Insecurities... About myself. So that's why I feel like I will disappoint you..."

"Alberto, I love you." Rosa said as she took his face in her hands, she then laughed. "Trust me, I'm new to this too. But you won't disappoint me, we'll just have to learn how to do this together." The Latina concluded with a small smile.

"Teamwork, right?" Alberto laughed slightly, ribbing Rosa. He sighed. "I love you too."

"Si, teamwork." Rosa agreed and smiled at the sound of Alberto's last words.

"Rosa, we're still naked... And it's like 45 degrees out here in this car." He chuckled, rubbing the valley between her breasts.

"Maybe we should... Warm up then?" She suggested with a small smile and pulled Alberto in for a heated kiss. At a loss for words, he connected with her deeply in the heated kiss, yanking on her long hair for more. Rosa gave in to the Mexican Aristocrat, and the rest of the night would be filled with pure ecstasy for the two to enjoy.


	4. It's Not Rape: Jeff and Punk

A/N:Here ya go...

"Hey CM Punk..." Jeff asked out of nowhere.

"What the hell do you want?" Punk asked angered.

"Why do you have such great looking abs? All I have is skin and bone." Said Jeff dreamingly.

"Oh you know... I work out and stuff." He replied.

Jeff blushed. "Can I touch them?" Jeff asked before suddenly grabbing Punk by the waist.

"Sure, just be gentle." Punk said raising his brows.

Jeff squeezed them tight and suddenly punched Punk in the gut. CM Punk lashed back by punching Jeff in the groin. "Yo bitch!" Punk growled at Jeff, "Pepsi is better than Coke."

"That was in the past you dick!" Jeff yelled causing the other superstars to stare.

CM Punk smirked. "Just like my alcohol addiction?" He asked sarcastically.

"I thought you were straight edge. Liar." Jeff replied.

Punk grabbed Jeffs shirt amd pulled him close, "Excuse me?"

"Oh so now you're a liar and Vickie Guerrero?" Jeff said mockingly in Punk's face.

"Didn't you just say I had great abs?" Punk grabbed his chin. "And now you're calling me fat. Someones a confused one."

"I'm sorry! I do love your abs! You just pissed me off!" Jeff explained pleadingly.

Punk smirked and kicked Jeff's penis, "Karma's a bitch."

"What the hell man? I just said I was sorry!" Jeff said kneeling over holding his crotch.

Punk patted his head, "Sorry, everything you said in this conversation was like, blah blah blah."

"Fuck you." Jeff sneered.

CM Punk smirked, "You'd like that wouldn't you Jeffrey?"

"Ew! Get a life Gayboy! I have a girlfriend!" Jeff said, getting angrier by the second.

Punk laughed, "Cover up!" Jeff felt flustered because he couldn't think of a comeback.

Punks smirk rose, "Nothing? What I thought."

Jeff felt his face get hot and tears were stinging his angry eyes. He decided he knew what he wanted to do. Daringly, he pushed Punk to his limits and pressed their lips together.

Punks eyes widened and then closed. Deepening the kiss, Jeff was shocked Punk was kissing back.

Punk's eyes opened and noticed all of the superstars were staring at them. "Shit."

Jeff pulled away and he too noticed everyone staring.

"Maybe we should continue this elsewhere." Punk breathed heavily.

"I, uh...can't...my hole is too small." Jeff whispered, embarrassed by the situation.

"I carry lube with me everywhere I go, I think we can manage..." Punk whispered back, taking Jeff's hand as they entered another room.

"Are you sure? What will everyone else think?" Jeff said as he hesitantly pulled his hand away.

Punk shrugged, "Who cares?"

"I do. And obviously they do too." Jeff said pointing to John Cena and Rey Mysterio as they passed by.

Punk flipped them the bird and snatched Jeff's hand back, "Your lower genital seems to disagree."

Jeff was hard but he was afraid of what others would think. "I'm scared."

"Sure it hurts the first time but if you do it-"

"You've been with other men?" Jeff interupted.

He rubbed the back of his neck. "Your brother... he..." Punk stood there nervously.

"You slept with Matt!" Jeff yelled shockingly.

Punk rose his hands in defense, "It was a one night stand!"

"You slut!" Jeff yelled angry, "How could you? And with my brother!"

"I thought only girls were called sluts..."

"Well then you're a manslut!" He yelled.

Punk sighed. "I try... so, can we have sex now?"

"No! You ruined the mood!" Jeff sighed and began walking away.

Punk frowned and yanked Jeff's shoulder and pushed him against the wall. "Now you're blaiming me? Or are you just jealous your brother got to have me before you did?"

"Let go of me you fuck! I just don't want Matt's sloppy seconds." Jeff sneered, "You've probably slept with Ted and Cody too. Everybody knows they're gay!"

Punk smirked and blew hot air on Jeff's neck making him tense. "Are you sure?"

"Yes." Jeff whimpered, knees buckling from from his hot breath.

Punk bent down and nibbled on Jeffs neck. He smiled when a moan escaped Jeff's mouth.

"S-Stop it! You know we can't do this..."Jeff begged.

"But do I care?"

"You should."

Punk snatched Jeff's chin and smashed his lips onto his.

Jeff pulled away, "I don't want this!"

"Too bad." Punk whispered in Jeff's ear before ripping his shirt off to reveal a pale sweaty chest.

Jeff was panicking, he knew Punk was surperior and he didn't want this to happen.

Punk began to suck on Jeff's hardened nipples.

"N-No! I can't do this Punk!" Jeff said trying to refuse.

Punk kissed Jeff so he couldn't make any more noise. He began unbuckling Jeff's black jeans.

Jeff was really scared now, this was not consenual. It was... rape.

Punk stared into Jeff's eyes for eternity before putting hs hands in Jeff's boxers.

Jeff whimpered, his natural reaction as Punk stroked his penis.

He pulled off Jeff's pants and boxers and stared at his member.

"Don't stare..." Jeff mumbled feeling extremely dirty.

"It's just that it's bigger than I expected..."

"Well what did you expect? Three inches?" Jeff retorted.

"No way! I thought it'd be eight... but its like a foot!" Punk said going red. He ran his finger up causing Jeff to shudder.

"Is it too much?" Jeff asked embarresed.

"I think I brought enough lube."

"I don't want to go inside of you!" Jeff screamed.

Punk laughed. "You have it wrong. It's me who is going inside you." He then lowered his head and began to lick Jeff's long hard member.

Jeff threw his head back and moaned loudly. Punk smirked in satisfaction. Jeff's heartbeat was fast, his member was beyond hard and he kept moaning. It felt so good! His face was a bright pink.

"I think I'm close." Jeff whimpered as Punk continued his ministrations. But then he stopped, saving that hot sweet moment for later. He then got out his lube.

"Bend over." Punk grunted as he rubbed lube over his eight inches.

Jeff did as he was told and stared at Punk innocently, causing him to grow hard himself. He then gently rubbed lube on Jeff preparing him for pain.

Punk worked a finger and then two as he streched Jeff's asshole. Jeff continued to wince until he got used to the feeling.

Punk then shoved his penis in Jeff's bum and began thrusting. Jeff let out a cry as Punk pounded him in the ass.

Jeff began moaning Punk's name loudly. Suddenly the door shot open and there stood Vince McMahon.

"Shit." Punk grunted as Jeff continued to moan.

Vince stood there and watched as CM Punk continued to trust into Jeff, his skin covered in sweat.

"What the hell is this?" Vince yelled.

Punk rolled his eyes. "What does it look like?"

"It looks like you two are having butt sex!" Vince answered.

"Don't stop Punk, I'm so close!" Jeff moaned.

"Me too." Then sperm splattered all over and Punk filled Jeff. Punk glared at Vince, "You're just mad that you can't get any piece of meat." He grabbed Jeff, "This is mine."

Vince stared increduously. "Help me God."


	5. Old Flames: Cody and Kelly

**Author's Note: So I wrote this like a really really long time ago and I'm not gonna lie, it really sucks. Um, so yeah. I hope you guys like it. This is co-written with my bestie AngelZ of DarKness, and my little sister Broski Love. Read and review, and be sure to check out my other stories! Thanks guys!**

* * *

I coughed as I entered the sultry strip club; my new job. Smoke filled the air, and music blared, the bass giving me a raging headache already. _This was going to be a great night_, I thought sarcastically.

"Hey Kelly!" Someone called out and I waved as I headed back to the dressing room where the other girls got ready. My show wasn't due for another 20 minutes, so I had plenty of time to get ready. I put on my outfit for the night, which was basically a bra and a thong, and definitely didn't leave much to the imagination. I also put on my brunette wig so people wouldn't recognize me.

_I can't believe I came from the WWE to this_, I thought with a scowl.

Finally it was time for my show. My ring name was Kelly Kelly, which is what everyone called me, but my stage name was just Barbie. I wouldn't be able to stand all those perverted old men calling me by the name I was respectfully given in the WWE.

The loud speakers played my song, sighing I walked out on the stage. Whistles and cheers were already sent my way. _This is only for money_, I told myself. _No matter how much you hate it, it makes good money._ Money, and lots of it, was thrown my way onto the stage and I bent down quickly to pick it up, then stuffed it in my bra.

"Shake it for me Barbie!" A man yelled. I mentally rolled my eyes but kept a straight face as I wiggled in front of him, earning a twenty-dollar bill easily.

Time seemed to fly by and soon my song was over. I strutted my way back to the dressing room then took the wads of cash out of my undergarments and counted it. Four hundred bucks even. At least I made good money tonight. After all, I was pretty popular around here.

I then headed over to the bar so I could get a drink with all this money I had just gotten. Suddenly, a strange man grabbed my arm and turned me around.

"Y-You did great t-tonight sweetie!" He complimented, it was obvious he was drunk.

"Thanks." I said quickly then tried to make my escape, but his hold on me tightened and my arm hurt. I quickly searched the club for a bouncer but none were to be found. "Let me go!" I yelped as I tried to pull myself away. Just then another man approached me, but I couldn't see his face. I could only see that he had dark hair.

"She said let go." The new guy snarled.

"Hey man, calm down. You can have her." The strange man said and finally released my arm.

"Thank you, so much." I said to the new guy that saved me.

"No problem, Barbie, was it?" He said. "Are you alright?" He asked and his voice sounded so familiar.

"I'm fine. It happens all the time." I replied cooly.

"If you don't mind, I'd like a private dance." He said and I rolled my blue eyes. Of course, this guy couldn't have been a gentleman and just let me off the hook.

"Sure." I said with a nod and led him back to one of the small private rooms. Once we were in the light I turned to face this mystery man and I gasped. It was none other than Cody Rhodes, my old crush from the WWE. I hoped he didn't recognize me. I didn't want him to see me like this. I tried to stay as calm as possible, I wouldn't just have to try and keep my face hidden from him.

Cody sat down on the couch and I turned my back to him then began to grind sensually on him

"You don't have to be a stripper, you know?" Cody said and I rolled my eyes. What was he? The Stripper Psychologist? Like I even had a choice.

"Why do you care?" I asked, stopping my dance.

"You look like a smart girl." Cody pointed out and I blushed, I can't believe he still gave me butterflies after all this time. "I'm sure you could do a lot of different things."

"You think so?" I asked as I continued to dance.

"Yeah." Cody answered, and that's when I felt my brunette wig begin to slip off. I tried to grab it, but I accidentally knocked it off my head, and it landed on the floor with a thud. I froze immediately. "You, uh, dropped something..." Cody said awkwardly and handed me the wig. I turned around to retrieve it and he gasped. "Kelly!"

"Shh!" I said grabbing my wig and putting it back on.

"What the hell?" He asked. "Why are you a stripper? Why are you wearing a wig?" Cody asked and I sighed.

"I didn't want you to see me like this." I confessed. Truth be told, I didn't want anyone to see me like this... Kelly Kelly, former WWE diva, now stripper... "It's probably best if you just leave, and don't come back." I said, but Cody just looked at me in disbelief.

"Kelly, I've been looking everywhere for you!" He explained. "You had me worried sick!"

"Really?" I asked.

"I've missed you." He said and pulled me into an embrace.

That night, Cody Rhodes convinced me not to be a stripper anymore. Thanks to him, I got my life back on track. We're singing each other, and we even just bought an apartment together. I guess you could say things were okay now.


	6. Marry Me: The Miz and Eve

"Eve?" The Miz asked in the quietness of the night.

"Yeah?" She replied, rolling over in the big king sized bed they shared together. It was a quiet night, and the longterm couple were already in bed, trying to sleep.

"Will you marry me?" He asked hopefully and Eve smiled.

"Is this for real?" She asked, not believing his proposal. The Miz grinned, and let out a cute laugh that made Eve's heart jump.

"Of course it is." He said. "Marry me?" He asked again.

"Okay." Eve said with smile, then kissed The Miz lightly on the nose. They were truly happy.


	7. Fights: Santino, Kane, and John

A/N: Just another random drabble for you guys! I wrote this with my partner in crime c; AngelZ of DarKness. You should check out her stories too. I'm working on an AJxPunk fic right now, it's called The Insane and The Straight Edge. I don't know when it will be posted though. Well enjoy and review. :3

Santino finished his match with the strike of his cobra and walked backstage. Kane approached him, a hateful expression on the man's face.

"Uh... Hello Kane." Santino chirped. Kane continued to glare not saying anything. Santino glared back, furrowing his unibrow.

"Guys in the locker room said that you could kick my ass." Kane sneered.

"W-what guys?" Santino stuttered in fear. Kane grabbed Santino by his singlet straps and lifted him off the ground.

"The Raw superstars." Kane growled.

"O-oh. I never said anything a-about you, my dear friend Kane." Santino said an octave higher than his regular voice. His singlet was riding in his crotch. Violently, Kane threw Santino down and grabbed a steel chair ready to strike. All of a sudden, John Cena appeared in front of the high pitched Santino.

"Kane... Shouldn't you be... I dunno, somewhere else?" John asked.

"No. I have to kick Santino's ass." Kane said.

"Why?" John asked then looking over only to see Santino silently escaping.

"Where the hell are you going?" Kane bellowed running over to pick up Santino by his straps again.

"Let me goooo!" Santino screamed as John tried not to giggle.

"I have to kick your ass." Kane said pissed. Santino shot pleading looks at Cena.

"Save me!" He yelled to John.

"Why?" John asked. Kane smirked, a glint of evil in his eye then threw down Santino.

"Leave." Kane sneered.

"Excuse me?" Cena asked, "Who do you think you are?" He said snapping his fingers.

"My name is Kane, and I can kick your ass."

"Wanna go ugly boy?" Cena taunted.

"Bring it." Kane said.

"Boys!" A feminine voice called. All looked up to see Eve with her clipboard.

"Damn." John muttered.

"Shut up." Kane said. John then went to push Kane but tripped over Santino, who was lying on the floor. Santino and Kane burst into idiotic laughter.

"Are you done?" Eve asked pushing her glasses up her nose.

"Maybe." Santino retorted. Eve then slapped him and Kane and Cena laughed. Her expression turned to anger.

"What is wrong with you three?" She yelled. The boys remained silent with stupid grins on their faces. Eve then huffed away and Kane did a double choke slam on Cena and Santino.

"Bitches." He said smirking and walked away.


	8. Kidnapping His Heart: Wade and Natalya

**Author's Note: Hey there my lovelies! This idea really came out of no where, but I thought it would be cute and you guys would like it. WARNING: FLUFF ENSUES. Oh, it might be a little out of character (especially for Wade). Be sure to check out my other stories, and like us (me and AngelZ of DarKness) on Facebook. Anyway, here it is, hope you lovelies enjoy. Thanks for reading!**

* * *

It was quiet in the diva locker room backstage at another Monday Night Raw; the only sounds were the pop radio songs playing softly in the background, and the occasional rush of a shower or two. Aksana sat straightening her hair, Alicia Fox was in the shower, and the other divas were nowhere to be found.

Natalya sat on a small sofa with her small hands in her lap, a clear frown etched on her pretty face, it was apparent that she was upset.

"Why so glum, chum?" Kaitlyn asked teasingly but also serious as she and AJ sat down beside the frowning diva. Over the past few months AJ, Kaitlyn, and Natalya had grown pretty close; they had even became pretty good friends. Natalya sighed heavily and looked up at her two friends.

"When's the last time I went out on a date?" The Canadian diva asked and AJ and Kaitlyn were silent.

"Um, well..." Kaitlyn started.

"Exactly..." Natalya muttered. AJ laughed.

"That's what you're upset about?" Kaitlyn asked as she grabbed Natalya's hand. "Hell, me and AJ could find you a date." The two toned diva said as she wagged her eyebrows up and down playfully.

"You could?" Natalya asked hopefully, not knowing at all what she was getting herself into.

"Well who do you have your eyes on, Nattie?" AJ asked while poking her friend in the ribs. This time Natalya went red. There had been a particular person on her mind for the past few weeks. However, she was embarrassed by the idea of admitting her crush to her friends. She didn't even know if her so-called crush liked her in return.

"W-Wade..." Natalya mumbled as her cheeks burned hot and red from embarrassment. Normally not the shy type, this kind of crap could be easy for Natalya, except she was never so good at talking about boys. Especially boys that she liked.

"Who?" Kaitlyn asked.

"Did you say Wade?" AJ exclaimed. "As in, Wade Barrett?" She smiled.

"Yes." Natalya nodded, her embarrassment finally fading away. It was true, she did have feelings for the brawler, feelings that she couldn't put into words. They hadn't talked much or anything, but Natalya noticed that Wade would always watch her when she wrestled. She had no explanation for this, all she knew was that it made her more nervous. It was like he was examining and criticizing her every move. Of course, thinking about Wade Barrett only made Natalya get butterflies.

"How cute!" Kaitlyn gushed.

"Stop." Natalya ordered with a blush.

"Oh this is going to be so fun..." AJ said with a laugh, giving a signature Chickbuster fist bump to her former tag team partner.

"Indeed." Kaitlyn said smiling. Natalya looked on in confusion, she definitely had no idea what she was getting herself into.

"What are you two planning?" Natalya asked with an eyebrow raised.

"You'll see soon enough Nattie..." AJ said with a mischievous grin, and she and Kaitlyn left the locker room swiftly, leaving Natalya there frazzled. Their plan was sure to work. They were positive it would.

* * *

Later that evening once the house show was nearing its end, AJ and Kaitlyn somehow snuck into the superstar locker room while no one was watching, and were waiting for the appearance of one man.

Wade Barrett.

There were only a few WWE employees still at the arena, so their mission would be easy. Get Wade and get out, well it really wasn't that simple but one way or another they were going to get Natalya a date. They waited and waited, until finally they got something.

"I think he's coming." Kaitlyn whispered to AJ as they hid behind some empty lockers. They two girls heard footsteps clacking down the empty hall.

"Shut up then." AJ chided as she used her hand to cover the two toned diva's mouth. They both held their breath unknowingly as the locker room door creaked open slowly. Kaitlyn peaked around the lockers just to make sure it was the right guy. "Is it him?" AJ asked in a barely audible whisper. Kaitlyn nodded and held up three fingers.

"One. Two. Three." She mouthed with a smile. "Get him!" She added with a yell, and that's when the two sprang into action. AJ ran and jumped on the Englishman's back, almost in piggyback style position and covered his eyes. Meanwhile, Kaitlyn was getting ready to tie him up with some rope.

"What the bloody hell?" Wade exclaimed in that thick accent of his as his arms flailed around, trying to get the spitfire off of his back, but he couldn't see because of AJ's hands. "I'm being mugged!" He called out to no one in particular. AJ then tried to cover his mouth with her hand but Wade licked it instead.

"Ew!" AJ said as she jumped off the superstars back, letting him go. Wade then turned to face the two divas.

"AJ, Kait, what the hell?" He asked as he eyed the rope in Kaitlyn's small hands. Kaitlyn only tried to hide it behind her back with a small grin.

"Hey Wade." AJ said casually.

"Can one of you please explain why I just got_ attacked_?" He asked, running a hand through his jet black hair trying to calm himself.

"It wasn't an attack!" Kaitlyn argued. "We were trying to kidnap you!"

"Some criminals you two are." Wade scoffed as he crossed his arms with a cocky grin. "Did Punk put you up to this? I know he hates me." He said referring to CM Punk.

"Nope, it was someone else." AJ confessed.

"Who?" He demanded.

"It was a girl." Kaitlyn hinted at. Wade racked his mind for any divas that might have wanted to get revenge on him for some odd reason, but none came to mind.

"She's a blond." AJ said with a wink. Wade sighed.

"Can't you just tell me?" He begged, hating the puzzle-like games that the former Chickbusters were playing with him.

"Fine." Kaitlyn huffed. "You're no fun. It's Natalya."

"Natalya?" Wade mused. Why would Natalya want AJ and Kaitlyn to kidnap him?

"Oh and she had no idea we were gonna do this..." AJ added.

"Why does she want you to kidnap me?"

"Because she likes you idiot." Kaitlyn said bluntly and the superstar's eyes widened. Natalya had a thing for him? The thought just surprised him. He had a mix of emotions towards the Canadian diva, but he thought she was beautiful, and talented too.

"That's nice." Wade said simply and began to walk away.

"Where are you going?" AJ yelled as she and Kaitlyn ran after him.

* * *

Back in the diva locker room Natalya was still in the same spot, wondering where AJ and Kaitlyn could have gone. She was the only diva even in the locker room at this hour and she was getting quite annoyed with her friends. Suddenly, Wade Barrett came walking through the door.

"Wade?" Natalya asked as a slow blush crept to her cheeks. And then here came AJ and Kaitlyn running in after him.

"You can't walk away from us!" Kaitlyn yelled, but she and AJ stopped dead in their tracks once they saw that Wade was going to talk to Natalya.

"'Ello, Nattie." Wade greeted with a smile as he grabbed the diva's hand to kiss it.

"Hi." She said smiling back. Wade then laughed.

"You know, if you wanted to go out all you had to do was ask." He said simply. "Next time, don't have your friends try to kidnap me." He laughed.

"You kidnapped him?" Natalya asked Kaitlyn and AJ, but the former Chickbusters were already gone.

"You're welcome Nat." AJ called out.

"So about that date..." Wade said changing the subject. "Are you available tonight?"

"Of course." Natalya answered as she got up and took Wade's arm.


	9. Losing My Virginity: Chris and John

It was another awesome Monday Night Raw as Chris Jericho, The Ayatollah of Rock 'n Rolla, was in the locker room preparing for his match against Dolph Ziggler tonight. John Cena then walked in waving at Chris. Chris only glared at John while he pulled up his knee pads.

"Hey Chris!" John said chipperly.

"What the hell do you want Cena? Here to pester me again?" Jericho asked angrily.

"Damn. I was just sayin' hi. No need to get your panties in a bunch." John replied a little taken aback by Chris' response. Chris sighed annoyed.

"Well I'm busy so get to your point. I have a match soon." Chris ordered as he and John sat down on a bench together.

"Are you a virgin?" John asked quietly. Chris only looked at the younger man stupidly.

"Really?" Chris scoffed. "I'm 41 John, of course I'm not a virgin. Now if you'll excuse me-"

"Wait!" John interrupted. "When'd you lose it?" He asked curiously. Chris sighed.

"John. Now isn't the time to be discussing this." Jericho replied and tried to leave but John blocked the door to prevent him from leaving.

"No Chris! You tell me! Unless... You're still a virgin!" Cena gasped sighed annoyed once again. John was acting like an idiot.

"Well, if you really must know it was a long time ago. I went to this party, it was... Unsuitable for children..." Chris began. John's eyes widened in interest.

"Was it an orgy?"

"I'm not saying it was." Chris replied.

"So it was?" John prompted. "Chris you dog!" He said turning red.

"Yeah so what about you?" Jericho asked as he ran his hand through his dirty blond hair. He was just trying to move this conversation along.

"Well." John began, "I don't like to talk about it. But I was raped." He said quietly. The locker room was quiet.

"Oh." Chris replied, unable to think of a more proper response.

"Yeah." John said rubbing the back of his neck.

"I'm sorry." Chris said putting a firm hand on John's shoulder.

"Good luck on your match." John said before leaving Chris alone in the locker room. Chris shook his head confused.

Why did John bring up this topic anyway?


	10. Letters: Wade and Natalya

**Author's Note: Hey guys! What's up? I just recently started shipping these two, and I think they're absolutely adorable. This is a oneshot so far but if it gets good feedback, I'll make it a twoshot. Deal? So read, enjoy, and review. Oh and if you want more Wade/Natalya, go check out dashinginconverse. She writes them so well. Anyways, hope you like, and be sure to check out my other stories. Oh and on a sidenote, go like me on Facebook. (Link is on my author's page.)**

* * *

Natalya had just finished another epic, yet tiring match on another Monday Night Raw; of course she had won. Feeling grimy and wanting to clean herself up, she made her way backstage and back to the diva locker room to shower and such. Most of the other divas were already gone due to the fact that they never had any matches or promos, so she was the only one inside the locker room. The diva then showered and changed into a pair of most comfortable sweat pants, and t-shirt. After she changed she was ready to leave the arena and head back to the hotel where most of the WWE roster would be staying.

Natalya then packed up all her things and picked up her large duffel bag, and she noticed something fall out of the bag. She bent down to pick up whatever she dropped, and discovered that it was a folded up piece of paper. The diva only knitted her blond eyebrows in confusion as she unfolded the piece of paper. It was a letter...? _Not again_, Natalya thought with a silly smile. It was another love letter.

She had been receiving these letters for weeks now; months even. Someone had always managed to sneak back here while she was away and slip a note into her bag. Natalya didn't even know who the ridiculous letters were from. They were always signed with, _anonymous_. Sometimes, she liked the letters. They complimented her about everything and made her feel good about herself. It was just like having a secret admirer. But on the other hand, she hated the letters just because of the simple fact she didn't know who wrote them. It was a complete mystery. She then let out a chuckle; the letters were always so corny but they were sweet nonetheless.

Finally, she decided to read it.

* * *

_ Dearest Natalya, _

_I have written you yet another letter. I am shocked that you haven't discovered who I am yet considering the fact that you are quite clever. You did magnificent in your match tonight, and your wrestling moves always seem to inspire me. Anyways, if you don't figure out who I am by this letter it will drive me mad. Hopefully this clue will help. _

_Signed, The English Gentleman_

_P.S. You look beautiful tonight, like always._

* * *

Natalya stopped and thought for a moment. _The English Gentleman_? Who could that be? Not a single person came to mind. Obviously it was a man, but who? She sighed in frustration, and stowed the letter away with the collection of others she had. Right now, she was just too tired to think.

The diva then exited the arena and made her way to the rental car she was driving. Once she got back to the hotel she decided that she would take a nap and get rested up, then she would think real hard about who was writing the letters.

Finally she arrived at the luxurious hotel and gave the valet her car keys, then made her way inside to check in. Her room was on the fifth floor. She then headed to the elevator exhausted and pressed the correct button to her floor. She closed her eyes and waited for the elevator to ding, but that's when she felt someone standing beside her. Natalya opened only one of eyes to see who it was.

"Hello Natalya." Wade Barrett greeted in that thick accent of his and sent Natalya a friendly smile.

"Hey Wade." The diva replied as she leaned her head against the elevator wall and finally it dinged. _The English Gentleman? _She though again with much frustration. Suddenly it dawned on her and she immediately felt stupid. The English Gentleman most definitely had to be Wade. "It's you isn't it?" Natalya asked opening both of her eyes and smiling at the superstar. He only smirked.

"My dear Natalya, I knew you'd figure it out." He replied with a cocky smirk. "Took you long enough." He muttered.

"Shut up." She said rolling her eyes. Wade let out a laugh.

"Stubborn as always..." He said which caused Natalya to roll her eyes once again.

"Wait..." She said slowly.

"What is it?" Wade replied.

"Did you actually mean what you said in all of the letters?" Natalya asked as a slow blush creeped up to her pale cheeks; fearing the Englishman's answer. Wade scoffed then scratched his beard.

"'Course I did." He answered. "I may be heel Nattie, but I assure you I'm not a liar." This answer caused Natalya to let out a laugh.

"Okay." The diva replied simply with a smile.

"That's it?" Wade asked. "That's all you're going to say?"

"What do you want me to say?" Natalya asked raising her eyebrows in pure confusion as the elevator dinged signaling that it was her stop. She stepped out as did Wade.

"Don't you want to know why I wrote the letters?" He prompted and Natalya sighed. She just really wanted to go to her room and take a nap.

"Sure Wade."

"Well, it's because I like you." He said simply and quite frankly, Natalya was shocked. She thought the notes were just a game that Wade was playing with her. Natalya nodded slightly. Wade liked her? More than a friend?

"Really?" She asked.

"Really really." He replied smugly.

"Prove it then." Natalya answered stubbornly.

"Let me take you out tonight." Wade insisted and the diva only nodded.

"Okay." She said simply. "See you tonight."

Natalya smiled as she examined herself in the hotel bathroom mirror. You could say she looked pretty good, and she was almost glowing. The reason for this glow would probably be Wade Barrett, after all, Natalya was going on a date with him tonight. She was shocked when she found out that he was the one writing her love letters, but she was happy too. It had been a while since the Canadian diva had been out on a date. Especially with a gentleman such as Wade Barrett. Suddenly there was a knock at the door.

"Coming!" Natalya called out as she sprayed some perfume on her wrists and neck. She then hurriedly went to answer the door. "Who is it?" She asked.

"It's Wade." Wade Barrett replied. Natalya then opened the door with a smile.

"Hello Wade." Natalya greeted as she took in his handsome appearance. He was almost wearing a suit.

"Why hello to you too Nattie." Wade answered in that thick accent of his, and he looked Natalya up and down. She was wearing a one strapped dress that was black and sparkly, and it fitted to her form very well. "You're looking quite dapper this evening." He said. Natalya wasn't sure what this meant, but she took it as a compliment nonetheless.

"Thanks." She replied. "You look nice too."

"Shall we?" Wade asked and held out his arm to Natalya.

"Just a sec." Natalya said. "Let me get my purse." She said and started to walk away, until Wade grabbed her arm gently. Natalya turned to look at him confused.

"No need Nattie." He said with a smirk. "A true gentleman always pays for his date." He added and Natalya blushed slightly.

"Okay." The diva replied simply and she took Wade's hand. _So far so good,_ she thought with a nervous sigh. The two then walked to the parking lot of the hotel, and found Wade's rental car. He opened the door up for the Canadian diva and she slid in smoothly. Wade then got in on the driver's side, and started up the car. He then started driving to the fancy restaurant at which they would be eating at.

After they ate dinner, through some petty jokes and playful banter. Wade and Natalya headed back to the hotel.

"We should do this again Nattie." Wade commented as the two walked back to Natalya's room.

"We should." Natalya replied as they stopped at her door. "I had a great time."

"Me too." Wade said and bent down to kiss the diva on the cheek. "I'll see you later." He said and began to walk away.


End file.
